Light Up Your Life!
Posted: Monday, October 12, 2009
by e
Dhammabucha Rocksprings Meditation
Where do we find our security? Where lurks our pleasurable experiences? What is it that we couldn't do without? Many things fall into this category; family, friends, careers, cars, homes; but especially close to our hearts . . . are our political and religious beliefs.
When we are dependent upon things for our pleasure (not our survival, which is a different story), we form weird psychological dependencies. Then we manipulate things in order to make sure that we don't lose our dependencies. If we are dependent upon an ideal or belief, we will defend that ideal or belief even to the death because we cant afford the psychological harm that would result if it was proven by someone or by circumstances that our ideal or belief was flawed.
Dependency is a definition of bondage. Even though that which makes us happy doesn't appear to be bondage, the persistent impulse to return to a dependency and experience it time after time turns us into programmed robots. Our beliefs, which appear to offer feelings of purpose and growth, actually stymies our advancement toward true freedom.
People, however, don't really want to be free; they prefer to remain dependant. Wherever we find our security, especially regarding our beliefs and ideals, could we simply walk away from them? If we can't without severe psychological pain, then we have formed what is termed an attachment which can be likened to a soft velvet ribbon tied around our necks that binds as strongly as steel chains and only permits us to go so far before yanking us back into a desire for a fix. And if for some reason that attachment is broken, we suffer greatly. Therefore, we can never be truly free while we are dependent upon whatever it is that we think keeps us happy. This is only common sense.
Normally, psychological dependencies are not a problem if we understand what we are doing to ourselves, i.e., depending on something exterior to ourselves for our happiness. If we don't realize this exterior quality of dependency, and that we are in fact dependent, then one day when that dependency might be taken away, we suffer greatly. Maybe even to the point of depression or hopelessness depending upon how pervasive the dependency was in our lives.
If our lives are, in effect, one dimensional regarding a certain dependency (our entire life revolving around it) then the consequences of losing that dependency are magnified greatly, and we are forced to really dig our heals in to protect that particular dependency. Proselytizing, for example, whether political or religious, turns out to be nothing more than an attempt to gain control and wield power, a competitive contest that we must win. Rather than being a virtuous thing, proselytizing is void of love, peace, and understanding, because in actuality what we are promoting is our dependencies.
Since the word dependency intimates weakness, and since dependencies are a fact of life, just being aware of them, being aware that we are dependent upon them for our happiness, helps us in time to become less dependent and more self reliant.
Total freedom for an evolved human being is when we have no psychological dependencies, no attachments. On the surface this sounds cold and distant, but underneath, having no dependencies opens up avenues of real love, peace, understanding and virtue. Why is this?
This sounds complicated but is really very simple. We can see this in ourselves by how we hold on to that which makes us happy. Many times we do things in the guise of goodness and kindness, when in actuality we do them in order to cement in our dependencies. In any relationship there are, many times, underlying struggles for power and control.
When we buy a car, the "friendly" salesperson might become unfriendly if we bargain too hard. The friendliness was not sincere, just a ploy, a manipulation to make a big commission off of us. We, ourselves, might use all kinds of maneuvering to control a situation, for example who controls the money in a family. We might use aggressive or subtle actions that get us what want; anger, pleading, disgust, aloofness, begging, etc. - things that have nothing to do with understanding and love.
We might say that we love our partner, but in reality we might only use that partner to secure our dependencies, such as sex, financial security, companionship. When we use anyone or anything to get what we want, then there can be no love or understanding there, only manipulation, insincere friendliness, and cloaked enmity.
Holding on to anything closes the magic door to freedom, and that magic door is . . . emptiness, an emptiness of dependency which is not forlornness or hopelessness, but a clear, bright emptiness where we are not pressured to fill the void with dependent ideals, relationships, or material things. We will certainly continue to have relationships, ideals and material things, but no longer will we be dependent upon them, because dependency is what causes our underlying fears. Only then can we become truthful and sincere.
Within this emptiness, we actually realize that happiness, like any other emotion or feeling, comes and goes, and whatever fills us on this earth cannot be spiritual, i.e., just as thoughts of spirituality are not the same thing as a direct spiritual experience, anything having to do with bodies or minds (or thoughts) restrict us to earthly existence and existence's accompanying problems.
But we can't seem to psychologically let go. Why should we? Dependencies are all we seem to have at our current level of consciousness, as untidy and unpredictable as dependencies are in this earthly existence. So we remain anchored in our seemingly warm, fuzzy life, playing with the things of this terrestrial existence and praying that when our time comes, we can magically let it all go and transcend to another realm.
But there's a catch - if we are uncomfortable letting go while here on earth, why would it suddenly be easy to let go when we are looking down at it all? I'm afraid that our attachments - to our ideals, relationships, and especially to our bodies and minds - aren't broken that easily.
Spiritual growth is a constant journey, from the physical to the spiritual, while remaining here on earth, which isn't easy. Our hang-ups with the physical (our personal thoughts and physical bodies) will, of course, create problems on this journey until they are seen for what they are . . . transient, without an underlying reality, and stressful. After this is seen (with a lot of introspection), the problems die down and we can naturally be what we really are; a consciousness that is naturally free and bright without dependencies; a consciousness that merely happened to bop into a human form and mind (with all it's inherent dependencies) this time around because of past conditioning, but underneath, a consciousness that is unconditionally free.
A possibility exists that just hearing about these things will plant a seed, and someday that seed will blossom into the actual realization of these things and result in unconditional love. Wouldn't that be nice?
So light yourself up, remove the heavy psychological veils that you now feel compelled to protect, and don't worry about whether or not the simple action of understanding and acknowledging your dependencies will save the world.
. . . but it might.
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Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)after reading your writings,gravity lessens its grip on me and I always feel freer and more enlightened;bless and thank you;Paul schroederWell! What a beautiful comment. Thank you Paul.
Best............e
Unconditional love? Sounds good. You're right when you say we've become dependent, dependent on 'things' and 'other people'. 'Lightening up', as you put it may not save the world, but it's a start. It just might save us, one person at a time. Very interesting article Raymond Rock. :)I guess we have to begin with ourselves because the world reflects us. Also, an interesting thing happens when you experience a shift in consciousness, the world itself changes before your eyes - kind of like when young people fall in love, the entire world seems loving.
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