Unusual Urges
Posted: Monday, December 28, 2009
by e
Dhammabucha Rocksprings Meditation
INSIGHT: "A meadow of spring flowers; hopeful faces turned toward the sun."
REFLECTION: "Is it curiosity, or is this longing guiding me toward . . . Something, as if I am trying to find my way home after being gone such a long time? But so far mere words in books have only been road maps for me; I'll actually have to take that first tentative step if my journey is to ever to begin."
(From "A Year to Enlightenment" - day one)
There are no responses to our most serious questions. We might come up with an answer of some kind in our brain, but our heart always recognizes hype. After the pat answers are blown away by the reality that we face, a subtle awareness returns to haunt us; a recognition that we live only on the surface of something very deep, so deep that we can't seem to get our arms around it, and we desperately need to.
We intuitively understand, perhaps in a sudden flash of intuition that our entire existence and purpose of life rests somehow in these depths of our being, depths that so far our life has not begun to touch. A life that has proven to be only a postponement, a temporary indulgence in petty pursuits and affairs that are wearing thin now, with the amusements of yesterday becoming little more than a child's dolls displayed on her bed but no longer played with.
We might put off this pursuit for a long time, rationalizing in so many ways, until that defining moment when it all crashes down on us like a house of cards, when our fondest illusions melt like butter under a hot sun that burns through everything we have ever counted on. And we find ourselves laying naked before a truth so immense that everything else is seen for what it is; emptiness.
This emptiness is so different, however, inexplicable and not really empty but the fullest experience we have ever had. But we cannot talk about it because words cannot express it, and it is difficult to maintain without becoming frightened and running back into our illusions. But in time our illusions will weaken to the point that only this emptiness, which is the doorway to truth, will be real, and the rest of it only passing fancies. This is when we begin to "make our way back home."
We might continue to count on the usual things to fill this emptiness, but once we experience an initial insight into the immensity and potential of our being, it will be impossible to amuse ourselves quite as long as we had in the past, and the amusements will become stale almost as quickly as we can think them up.
In time, it is this emptiness where we will find our security because the emptiness is real, and everything else is transient. It is in this emptiness, void of self, void of ego, that we will find the deepest part of our being. But as we begin to wrap our arms around the emptiness, as we have habitually attached to things in the past, we find that the emptiness, which is this exact moment in time, is far too fast to be secured. And here, finally, is where we find our true freedom.
This freedom is from everything that we have known in the past; our heritage, our credentials, our beliefs, and even our future because these are all based on knowledge, and knowledge is a such burden compared to the freedom of emptiness.
Without knowledge, we have to depend upon insight to solve our problems, not stale solutions based on knowledge which are all dead computer files. We will use our knowledge to find our way home after work, but never again to understand life.
And so we take our first tentative step into a new reality, the true reality where insight and understanding replace knowledge and replaces all that knowledge propagates. The road map now lies crinkled on the path as we look for a break in the trees where we will leave all paths behind.
Unsure, unknowing, open, vulnerable, and with the greatest humility, we take our first step, and then the next, never knowing what each step will reveal and never looking back or looking forward, for each step is an eternity within itself.
This Article has been viewed 196 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
Top-level comments on this article: (3 total)I believe this new freedom you are trying to describe here is a form of meditation e, is it?Hi David. Thanks for checking in and commenting. To answer your question, If meditation is something that you do habitually like exercise or yoga, then no. That is only further programming by the mind.
The freedom that I talk about, and it isn't really new; sages and prophets, and regular men and women have been experiencing it since people could think discursively. This is a freedom from everything that has accumulated in one’s mind, including a belief in yourself. That state is true meditation, when the mind is empty, yet amazingly alert and aware. Practicing meditation habitually can make one prone to this kind of freedom, but the freedom itself is not meditation in the normal sense of the word. Does that make any sense?
Metta………..e and Happy New Year!Yes, you've answered my question, and a Happy New Year to you too.
Unusual urges are, for the record, almost always a signature symptom of spirit attachment.Thank you for another interesting mystical exploration.Hey Paul, how ya doin? Thanks for looking in, and have a great New Year!
Best as always............eI am doin; to you, too!!
Interesting article. Thanks for sharing.
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.