Why Do We Get Angry When Someone Disagrees With Us?
Posted: Wednesday, January 27, 2010
by e
Dhammabucha Rocksprings Meditation
Let's say that one person loves the president, Bush or Obama, and another hates him. Then, anything that one would write positively about the president would be hated and disbelieved by the other, regardless of whether it was true or not. A strong bias would blind the president hater to any rational conclusion regarding the truth of the matter, and the negativity would be justified by remembering all the wrong things that the president has done, even if this one thing was good.
This is especially prevalent in religious arguments, where if proven wrong we might actually go insane after building an entire lifetime around an ideal. Therefore, all religious arguments are a waste of time because strong bias, which can be created under the most incredulous and absurd reasoning, will prevent truth from surfacing even though it may be indisputable. If God came down from heaven and said hello, would atheists all of a sudden believe? Don't bet the farm on it. If Buddha came down and performed one miracle after another, would Christians convert? Never. That would mean losing control.
The fact is; it is more important to feel in control and superior than it is to ferret out the facts and come to logical conclusions. Why? Because our idea of self or ego, although false, must be constantly blown up like a balloon with a small hole in it. Otherwise, if our ego was permitted to diminish, which would mean that we became peaceful and loving, then we would see the reality of our vulnerability and weakness as a human being, which would be far too devastating for anyone caught in the web of delusion that we call life.
Even though we suffer tremendously by having to constantly defend our ideals, we don't see it as suffering. We see it as some kind of challenge, at least until the pent up anger affects our health as we get older. The hypertension, the diseases are many times caused by our appetite for stress and disagreement. We don't see the strain involved by trying to win every argument, which more times than not is merely academic - how many angels can dance on the head of a pin? Who really cares? How many children will go to bed hungry tonight? Do we care about that? And why not? Why don't we argue about that instead of our taxes going up?
Liberals eventually become conservative and conservatives liberal. Look at history and you will see this is true. And regardless of who is in office or what party rules, the problems remain the same. There is no political solution, no answer, other than a change in each of us individually because the corruption in government is a reflection of all of us. Government is us. Big business is us. We feed big business by our voracious appetites for consumer goods that are basically unneeded, except psychologically to keep our balloons from deflating.
Until we acquire a taste for compassion and loving kindness instead of hatred and selfishness, a taste for cooperation and pathos instead of dissension and aloofness, these problems will not cease and desist. They will only worsen.
As the world wises up and America declines, as it must since our credit card with the world is being withdrawn, we will have to learn to live within our means - a relatively sparse existence from what we have been used to for many decades. We can either be at each others throats about this with the haves protecting what's left and the have-nots hating them, which will eventually lead to real violence, or we can work this thing out together. The answer lies in each of us. Can we become truly spiritual beings, which goes far beyond religious arguments?
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Top-level comments on this article: (8 total)Good article e, you bring out a good and clear argument here.Thanks for your constant support. That means a lot to me.
Best.........e
I think people who get angry with someone who disagrees with them are people with closed minds. They have usually come to some conclusion about something and don't want to even hear anyone elses ideas on the subject. This, to me, is sad, because these people will never know if their own conclusions are really the truth, or if they may have found the truth by further investigation. They may have to find out the hard way, when their confirmed ideas do not produce the desired effects. Then they may begin to wonder why. I enjoy articles that encourage thought and self- examination- which yours does. Thanks for writing it.--Always --EllaThank you so much Ella, your comments are certainly true. Open mindedness requires a certain amount of fearlessness, which you seem to have!
Best..........e
That's easy, because...as a Vail, it's my G-d given right to be right all the time. I can, from time to time...be mistaken, but I'm never wrong.Now apply that nonsensicle statement to everyone...and you get the picture! But seriously, if you believe you are correct, you generally don't suffer those whom you believe to be wrong...that's the best i can do.That makes sense, Richard! Thank you for reading and commenting.
Best..............egreat article though...didn't mean to imply it wasn't.Thank you so much! That makes me feel happy. It never crossed my mind that you were implying otherwise, because I know that you are just an old softy inside :)
Best..............eNO WAY!!!! NOT ME!!! uh-huh...nope, never, perish the thought.". . . the(man) doth protest too much me thinks" (Hamlet)
"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve." - the wisdom of Bilbo BagginsBilbo was of course the "man in black" but I always felt that "the Hobbit" was a very spiritual book, or at least led people surreptitiously toward an inner search. Thanks for the offbeat and interesting comment. Very good. You sound like someone I know, Anonymous!
Very nicely stated, as usual. It's also getting to be the 'wants' against the 'want nots' since these days many don't have much at all. Again, excellent article.Thanks so much Michael. I value your comments very much. It's weird how when we are forced to have less, there seems to be a kind of freedom in that. Poor little rich folks :)
Good points. :)Thank you!
Best..........e
Great article Raymond! I think about this sometimes. When we believe something to be true, it reflects our core beliefs and is also bound to our perceived intelligence levels. When someone disagrees with you, they are challenging our ego's and in many ways this translates into us being accused of being stupid. I think that's one of the ways people get upset.Very true, Richard. Thank you.
Best..........eI couldn't agree more! My own ego plays absolute havoc here, & I think it dates back to childhood experiences - if one isn't allowed to 'speak up', for example, or even be heard, as in my case.Oh no! A suppressed ego hatching. Hoo Boy! (just kidding) Thanks for your kind comment from way over in the UK.
Best ...e
How does one remain in the state of understanding where we "see the reality of our vulnerability and weakness as a human being". How does one, after years and years of habitual ego boosting allow the ego to remain deflated? I used to have the revelation that all human weaknesses are ONE and that brought out great compassion from me. I used to be full of peace and love for everyone around me. When I had children (and with children at home, things go out of control anytime and everytime), I lost my "rest" and started tensing up all the time. I put on 30kg/66pounds in 7 years. I want to get back to that state of "rest" and vulnerability before it's too late :(
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