Are You Being True to Yourself? Really?
Posted: Friday, September 24, 2010
by e
Dhammabucha Rocksprings Meditation
If you aren't true to yourself, can you ever be true to anyone? Are you being true to yourself? How would you know? Wouldn't something inside tell you whether or not you are being true to yourself? Can you sense the difference, the dichotomy between sincerity and falseness?
Not being true to yourself means that you are insincere. Perhaps you become hypocritical for reasons of convenience, or due to a little insecurity, or maybe just simple delusion. But whatever the rationalization, pretending,' in time, eats away at your very being.
You might believe "in" another person or believe in an ideal, and completely surrender to that person or ideal without thoroughly investigating them. This would be as careless as investigating a crime scene without proper analytical equipment. There is a difference between careful consideration, and surrendering to belief. The difference is that which separates truth from fiction.
What is the difference between surrendering to belief instead of being true to oneself? Krishmamurti offers a clue:
"What is religion? First of all to find out what is religion we must negate what it is not. (What it is not; then it is). It's like seeing what is not love. Love is not hate, love is not jealousy, love is not ambition, love is not violence.
"When you negate all that, the other is, which is compassion. In the same way if you negate what is not religion then you find out what is true religion; that is, what is the truly religious mind.
"Belief is not religion, and the authority which the churches, the organized religions assume, is not religion. In that there is all the sense of obedience, conformity, acceptance, the hierarchical approach to life. The division between the Protestant, the Catholic, the Hindu, the Moslem, that's not religion.
"When you negate all that, which means you are no longer a Hindu, no longer a Catholic, no longer belonging to any sectarian outlook, then your mind questions, asks what is true religion? This is free from their ritual, without their masters, without their Savior; all that is not religion.
"When the mind discards that, intelligently, because it has seen that it's not religion, then it can ask what is religion. Religion is not what I think, but religion is the sense of comprehension of the totality of existence, in which there is no division between you and me."
Being true to yourself therefore involves tremendous bravery, the courage to question and see for yourself, to go beyond convention and tradition. If you lack that courage, you purposely blind yourself to reality. When you are insincere, perhaps even subliminally insincere, and fool yourself into believing in something simply because it makes you feel good or makes you feel secure or real, this contributes to the ignorant bliss with which you surround yourself when you are not true to yourself.
Being true to yourself requires guts, guts to actually look closely at everything. Because now you are no longer satisfied in fooling yourself. You've done that and it subconsciously never sits quite right. It's now time to get on with life in a more mature and intelligent way, to be true to yourself rather than being true to some authority that tells you what to do and think. Part of being true to yourself is finding the courage to stand up for yourself.
Not everybody can do this. Initially it's akin to having a rug pulled out from under your feet when you trade your dependencies and insecurities for personal responsibility. But when you begin to see how you have been manipulated (and how you have manipulated yourself), then that first step toward being true to yourself becomes intuitive, necessary, essential, and vital in order to be a complete, integrated, and whole human being. It's the only thing left for you to do as you begin to awaken from your deep sleep.
Once the awakening begins, once you begin being true to yourself, then the freedom you feel can only be described as utterly amazing. Its an awakened existence as if you have been fast asleep and now are reborn into a brave, new world. The false security that once was your life and drugged you into the oblivion of a deer staring into the headlights is now replaced by a piercing awareness and intelligence that carries you to ultimate freedom. Nothing can compare to this - everything before was wishful thinking, a child's fairytale.
Being true to yourself must begin by being with yourself, quietly, with no thoughts or emotions to disturb your inner inquiry until you understand yourself. Without self inquiry, which happens deep inside, the delusion that you are under, that feeling in your heart that can be best described as a subliminal falseness, will continue to complicate your life, as well as the lives of those around you.
How can you be true to yourself? Krishnamurti indicates it is nothing less that practicing true religion:
"Religion is the sense of comprehension of the totality of existence, in which there is no division between you and me. Then if there is that quality of goodness which is virtue, real virtue not the phony virtue of society, but real virtue, then the mind can go beyond and find out, through meditation, through a deep, quiet silence, if there is such a thing as reality. Therefore a religious mind is a mind that is constantly aware, sensitive, attentive, so that it goes beyond itself into a dimension where there is no time at all."
Can you imagine a dimension where there is no time at all? Can you imagine a freedom so complete that your mind and body is completely integrated, never again to become fragmented and conflicted?
Now that's being true to yourself.
This Article has been viewed 1,894 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
More commentsgood article e, thanks for sharing.Thanks David, there is a lot of food for thought here. Metta......e
I guess it's the religion thing that has me cringing. Isn't it changing from one dogma to another? Wouldn't freedom to be self require freedom from religion? A place where everything, yet nothing exists. Seems to me a little different from the normal vibes I get from your teaching, but maybe I'm just missing something. My gut just didn't get this one, but I'll keep searching. Thank you for the food for thought. Be well.Thank you so much David. Yes, ultimate freedom requires freedom from religion. The Buddha said that his teachings are like a raft that can be abandoned after one crosses the river. Krishanmurti’s “True Religion” above has nothing to do with our present definition of religion which includes Gods, saviors and dogma. Krishnamurti’s true religion has everything to do with “a comprehension of the totality of existence, in which there is no division between you and me. Then if there is that quality of goodness which is virtue, real virtue not the phony virtue of society, but real virtue, then the mind can go beyond and find out, through meditation, through a deep, quiet silence, if there is such a thing as reality. Therefore a religious mind is a mind that is constantly aware, sensitive, attentive, so that it goes beyond itself into a dimension where there is no time at all." This is an open inquiry, a seeking by an individual, the opposite of indoctrination and dogma. Best……eYa, I was kind of thinking that's where you might be going, after I read the Wiki definition you had told Joyce she could get a good definition from on her post. Thanks for clarifying that for me. Sometimes the mind's eye is not as open as at other times. Good day.
Thank you for seeking to be true to oneself.It is difficult to understand, until the thought of individual faith binds to its true self - consciousness. Most of us understand the physical body, its name given by civilization and its ego (I) which is not true self . Hence the problem of division between Protestants, Catholics, Hindus, Muslims and so on. To me to be Protestants, Catholics, Hindus, Muslims and so on help the intial stages to purify mind, but it does not lead to pure religion of true to oneselfWell said G.S. And so true! Thank you so much for the support. Best.....e
Nice article E. I have to agree some with David. The word 'religion' carries too much baggage, IMHO. For me, spirituality works better, comes much closer to the definition you give for true religion.Thank you Joyce. Yes, few want to be "religious" these days. Christians even tell me that they are not religious! Wikipedia has a good definition of religion. Metta.....e
By changing the word religion to spirituality I was able to appreciate these words so much better. Well done as usual e.GraceThank you Grace.
It's too bad fakery and facade sell better than genuiness and beliveability. That one inch of us, our true self, is always in danger of selling out.Good observation, Tim. Thank You.
I'm true enough to myself to realize I'm not being true to myself in a couple of areas. People. I do believe in people that some may think I shouldn't. Maybe it's because I want what's best for them and it feels better to hope, than to be disappointed, if that makes any sense to you Ray. It's human nature to want to believe in something or someone even when deep down you may know your faith is misplaced. Thanks for this article. I'm also thankful you don't charge by the hour.I have a paypal on my website :) :) Thank you again Brianna for your continued support.Best......e
You are taking on a complicated topic in a small article format. I honor you and admire you for it. It is what I often try to do and sometimes it becomes burdensome. But still the effort is wonderful. "True to yourself" is a phrase that is common in parlance. You have taken us to great depths, places in which the self itself starts losing clarity. But again, this is a great article and makes people think. Thanks for your labor of love.Christopher, your comment is beautiful! Early on in my never ending spiritual quests I learned that the most important teachings required few words ( I guess I didn't learn it well however, considering the length of some of my articles!) Maybe that's why I like the form of haiku so much.
"No one travels
Along this way but I,
This autumn evening." - - Basho, Matsuo. (1644-1694).
"Wouldn't something inside tell you whether or not you are being true to yourself?"
*** Great question Rock, and the answer is yes.
My example of staying true to myself: Let's say one of my daughters were standing trial for a crime they may or may not have committed. The prosecution has me on the stand and ask personal questions about my daughter that if not answered carefully may provide them with enough to send her to jail for a very long time. My desire to be truthful would obviously be curbed by my love for my daughter and the fear of losing her to prison. Thus, I'd battle with my internal nature to answer the prosecutions questions honestly.
Would I be totally honest with the prosecutor? No!
Would I be honest with myself that I wasn't totally honest with the prosecutor. Yes!
Therein lies the difference. I can stay true to myself that I wasn't exactly honest with another. I am usually aware of my motives for good and bad. I don't aspire to be what I am not. I am not superhuman, nor do I pretend to be of piety.Great comment Kenny. Yes, when we become very aware of our thoughts and actions, we can become aware of our motives. When we become aware of our motives, we become aware of the consequences of those motives, both long term and short term. And when we are aware of the consequences, both for ourselves and others, and whether those consequences promote peace and happiness or conflict and unhappiness, then we can acquire the wisdom and insight to act in accordance with harmony, rather than in accordance with selfish desires. Thank you so much!Best......e
Learning to be true to myself is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I can get there most of the time but there are times when I can not. However the times I cannot get there are becoming less and less.Way to go Linda! Now that's real spiritual practice - seeing clearly the negative traits in oneself and going a different way, rather than pointing fingers at or trying to change others.Metta.......e
More comments
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.