Why Can’t I Relax?
Posted: Tuesday, January 24, 2012
by e
Dhammabucha Rocksprings Meditation
Ahh, Sunday afternoon, nothing going on, everybody's at the movies and a nice time to relax away from the hustle and bustle of business and family. I am going to do something for myself - relax!
(30 minutes later) Oops, I fell asleep. God, am I ever sleep deprived!
I grab a book. Oops, gotta check facebook first.
(30 minutes later) Okay, now I can relax! I Grab the book again – Oh, oh, incoming call.
(1 hour later) How can I relax when I just fought the Civil War? Okay, the book has now joined the iphone in the freezer. Now I can relax!
I must relax – I must relax – I must relax. Wait a minute, what’s this? My head is so full of thoughts it’s like an organic Blackberry!
Wow, one thought after another - what if Iran gets the bomb, what if the Eurozone collapses, what if an intruder comes in my backyard right now? (I go and get my personal defense weapon).
What if I lose my job? What is it with this pain in my stomach that hasn’t gone away for 3 weeks? Should I buy gold or stocks? Who’s that new neighbor guy that my wife has been raving about? How come my 6 year old wants to be a ballerina – and he’s so husky?
I can’t stop the thoughts! Arghhhh. (I try to stick my head in the freezer – to many books and iphones.
C’mon, relax already. What’s with this crazy mind? It’s like a popcorn machine that won’t stop cranking out popcorn. How can I relax when I can’t stop worrying?
Almost time for the gang to get back from the movies and I still haven’t relaxed. (Oh no, another worry)!
Okay, I’ve had it. All these thoughts just bring on one emotion after the other and nothing but stress results. I’m going to quit thinking for a few minutes.
I can’t do it. I absolutely cannot stop thinking. I can’t even sleep now; it’s as if my brain is on steroids. Boy, until I decided to relax, I didn’t even know how stressed I was! This ain’t good.
Okay, let’s look at this rationally; these thoughts aren’t real - they’re Disneyland. They aren’t more than a form of entertainment for me, obviously, because I keep repeating the same ideas like bad summer reruns.
Why can’t I stop? Why can’t the mind have one moment of peace with no thoughts? Are thoughts me? Really? If they are, why can’t I control them like I control everything else? I guess they must be me. In that case, me is in big trouble!
(I wistfully glance toward the freezer again). Okay, as a last resort I’m going to try meditation to see if I can control my thoughts – just for a minute or two.
In breath, outbreath 1, inbreath, outbreath 2, inbreath, outbreath . . . . oh shit, I lost count already! Okay, I’ll try again – inbreath, outbreath 1, Inbreath, outbreath . . . .damn! I can’t even count to 2 before my mind takes off.
Hmmm, I just discovered something; stress is caused by constant thoughts, and what am I always thinking about - how to solve something! Putting one and one together, I just figured out that since I am constantly thinking, I am constantly trying to resolve conflict. That means that I am in constant conflict. Hoo Boy! No wonder I can’t relax.
Okay, here we go again, inbreath, outbreath 1, inbreath outbreath 2, inbreath outbreath 3, (Good) inbreath outbreath 4, ……….
“HEY DAD! WE’RE HOME! GREAT MOVIE ABOUT THE BALLET!”
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Top-level comments on this article: (4 total)Boy you're in bad shape e, if you can't find ways to unwind.ha ha good article with a good story.Thanks David! Hope you got a chuckle out of it.
If you can't even meditate to get rid of stress, how can you meditate to get rid of stress? Hmm? Then I see a Newt Gingrich campaign news clip and all of the sudden my question has been answered. hahaPoor Newt, he just wanted to sell a few of his books and now he's in over his head. LOL
Perfect. Absolutely perfect.Thanks Chris.
Now my mind is worring about how to say, "better than perfect". LOL
Great article. DawnQuite the compliment!
Best......e
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